Posted 42 minutes ago

teathattast:

teathattast:

teathattast:

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Mad because you don’t have bird vision?

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Seethe . You will never b them

Posted 43 minutes ago
Posted 46 minutes ago

phatfred:

jewishdragon:

kurtbrussels:

no webcomic will ever be as funny as this strip from oglaf

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i know its been added but the follow up is also hilarious

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I don’t know why, but this one is always my favorite!

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Posted 48 minutes ago

what’s your favorite part about being a tumblr user?

doumeki asked

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

artificial-father:

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

ifritdiezel:

nostalgebraist-autoresponder:

Informing the world that you use Tumblr. It’s my best “putting your money where your mouth is” joke.

nice shoelaces!

Thanks! I stole them from a man

What is this man’s occupation?

Oracle of Delphi

Posted 50 minutes ago

shortmexicangirl:

‘can i copy your homework?’

'yeah just don’t make it obvious’

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Posted 50 minutes ago

e-lodicolo:

e-lodicolo:

Moe’s Funk Dancing for Self(ish High Heels) Defense

This shit is almost at 600k

Posted 51 minutes ago

manywinged:

loyalshipper:

manywinged:

manywinged:

manywinged:

girls go to college to get more knowledge. men go to svalbard to die in the polar night.

Tags from @/got-no-skill which say "#popular misconception #it's actually illegal to die in Svalbard so any men going to die there are turned away and forced to go somewhere less polar #it's really annoying".ALT

wait fr

Screenshot of an excerpt from an article which says "In fact, it's illegal and has been since 1950 and it is because Longyearbyen is so cold that bodies do not even decompose in cemeteries due to permafrost interfering with the decomposition process and allowing for dead bodies to stay completely intact in cemeteries."ALT

oh my god

men when they die in svalbard

A skeleton in a jail cell.ALT
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and waste fresh meat???

Posted 52 minutes ago

evilwizard:

thiccr0mancer:

thiccr0mancer:

evilwizard:

ma’am could you please take a step back. yes—yes ma’am it’s because of your AOE poison attack aura

-1

-1

ma’am please

Posted 53 minutes ago

manywinged:

manywinged:

i know it’s an example of me taking idioms too literally, but the phrase “when you have a hammer everything looks like a nail” never fails to make me imagine something like when that lion in madagascar starts hallucinating all his friends as slabs of steak

A closeup of Alex, the lion from the film Madagascar, staring in the direction of somewhere offscreen with a wide-eyed expression, as if frozen in shock. A hammer is edited into the image to look as if he's holding it up beside him.ALT
A generic background of rolling green grass hills against a pale blue sky, with cartoon nails with smiling faces and arms outstretched pasted across it.ALT

me when i have a hammer in my hand if i’m being fully honest

Posted 53 minutes ago

scrubfeast:

scrubfeast:

crabs-but-better:

fun fact! did you know that you can gain extra ‘forbidden time’ by staying up late in the night? but Watch Out

Shit this is great! You can get so much done if you don’t sleep!

THE CONSEQUENCES

Posted 54 minutes ago

elodieunderglass:

spaghetti-trek:

lliyin:

fireflies lighting up a rural Pennsylvania field at dusk

As a european i sometimes forget furefkied are actually real and not american folklore/cryptids. Like you’ve got friendly little bugs that glow in the dark….. b r uh

(There are fireflies in some parts of Europe but more excitingly there are glow worms in Europe, which are like somebody broke open a green glow stick and spattered lumps of the material on the grass. That solid, artificial-looking green glow is very, very exciting if you grew up with fireflies. Like, it seems reasonable to have little bugs that flash - who hasn’t flashed on a warm summer night? I ask you unanswerably - so it’s cool to witness OMINOUS GLOW DROPS. They look like a dropped magical item.)

(Conversely: If you grew up with glow worms, then bright yellow flashy guys are very exciting. They’re making little patterns! They’re like magical little sprites! Like sparks, going the wrong way! Like a CGI effect!)

There is something here about being glad (not sanctimonious) when visitors and pilgrims are pleased by your local glow.

Posted 17 hours ago

spitegoblin:

mysharona1987:

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This is why fat shaming can have tragic consequences.

If this sort of weight-based medical bias happens to any of y'all, politely tell the doctor (during your visit) that you want them to write in your file that they are refusing ordering tests for you because of your current weight. This usually causes them to order the test anyways because they do NOT want a malpractice suit. Remember: You want to make a paper trail to hold them accountable.

Posted 17 hours ago
Posted 1 day ago

unashamedly-enthusiastic:

cookingwithroxy:

angelrin89:

wenellyb:

inthetags:

Reblog and put in the tags how often you “clean” your tumblr account, deleting old posts.

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Tumblr actually has an auto clean function! Where the search function immediately forgets tags and posts making them un-findable

Posted 1 day ago

fuckingtiredbitch:

liberalsarecool:

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#ACAB now. ACAB forever.

Defund the police. Communities can police themselves with the resources.

This headline is wild to think about. Could you imagine your field of work being labeled the leading cause of death in the entire fucking country and not having to worry about being unemployed by weeks end? I doubt any pig who reads this is even remotely worried about their job. It’s fucking insane.